Countdown
by TheOtherShin
Summary: Kofuku and Daikoku set Hiyori and Yukine up on a blind date, and in retaliation they decide to pretend to date each other, and then stage a horrendous breakup to get back at them. But somewhere along the line it becomes unclear what's real and what's fake, and tensions flare as an envious Yato tries to force them apart, and a hopeful Yukine tries to turn the charade into a reality.


There was something fishy about being invited to Kofuku's shop on a Thursday. Yato needed no invitation, and would show up at the goddess of poverty's place whenever he needed a favor, or a place to crash that actually had indoor plumbing. And like a reluctant dog on a leash, Yukine was generally inclined to follow his master wherever he decided to go. Sometimes Hiyori would pop in or tag along when this happened, but usually she was the only one extended a voluntary invitation to visit the shop. Being as Kofuku had apparently adopted her as a "playmate" and wasn't keen on sharing.

Not that Yukine was particularly jealous. From what he'd heard, Kofuku had Hiyori doing all kinds of girly things like tea parties and makeovers when the two of them were alone. He had shuddered with her as she relayed her close encounters with eyeshadow and ribbons - the only one who didn't seem at all opposed to the idea was Yato, but then, Yukine wouldn't have put it past a god to enjoy a little pampering, even if it meant being smothered with glitter. _Who am I kidding? The idiot's all about sparkles._

If it had been a weekend, it wouldn't have been so surprising to receive the note summoning the three of them to visit, but pulling Hiyori out of school in the middle of the week was suspicious. Gods didn't have the best overall respect for ordinary people's schedules, Yukine had found, but even they must have understood the pressures of high school, seeing as they received so many wishes from stressing, desperate students in need of divine intervention.

These clues led Yukine to believe that this visit could only be one of two things: a dire emergency, or a trap. And seeing as the Lady Kofuku had had enough time to write them a letter in advance - a letter which didn't seem entirely urgent - he was strongly leaning toward the latter.

And yet he was obediently following Yato into it with minimal protest.

"Ah, quit sulking, Yukine, you look like you're about to walk up the gallows!" Yato chattered, slinging an arm around his shoulders, "You know you're going to make Kofuku worry about you with that attitude; and here she was so nice to invite us over."

"Shut up," Yukine muttered without heat, slipping out from under his arm and shoving his hands in his pockets.

"Yato's right, Yukine-kun," Hiyori added gently, tail swaying at her side, "It's not like Miss Kofuku would bring us here for anything bad…"

_Right, the goddess of poverty who brings bad luck wherever she goes just invited us over for tea and soba._ "Yeah, I know."

"Then why the long face?" Yato prodded teasingly, elbowing him in the side.

"No reason," he shrugged, deciding not to rise to the bait when he didn't technically have a reason to be apprehensive._ I've just got a feeling..._

Yato seemed content to drop the subject, but Yukine could still sense Hiyori's concern, in the laser eyes searing the back of his neck. He offered her a small, brief smile over his shoulder as a reassurance, and then lagged behind his master to fall into step with her.

"What's bothering you?" she asked in an undertone, moving a strand of hair behind her ear.

"Nothing really," he said, dropping his gaze to his shoes, "It just seems a little strange, you know? Kofuku-sama's never invited us to her place before, usually Yato just shows up…" He trailed off, watching his master's carefree stride critically, "And we would study here sometimes, but we didn't need to be summoned for that either, much less bring _him_ along."

Hiyori seemed to consider what he said, which, strangely, Yukine found soothing in its own way. _I'm too used to Yato brushing me off, I guess…_ Hiyori wasn't like him at all; she didn't treat Yukine with lofty arrogance when he voiced an idea, she treated him like an equal...with respect.

"I think you might be overthinking it," she decided after a moment, "Miss Kofuku isn't as crafty as her reputation makes her seem...besides, she's our friend, and so is Daikoku. He'd stop her if she was up to anything devious."

"I guess," He hoped he hadn't blushed at the word "friend"; he kept forgetting to grant the fact that he had _friends_ with the awe it deserved, and it was always Hiyori who reminded him of it.

Hiyori slowed with him as they neared the shop, giving him an encouraging smile that made him feel pleasantly warm all over, "Try not to worry so much, okay? You know how Miss Kofuku is, she's probably just annoyed that we haven't dropped by in so long."

Only when his shoulders relaxed did Yukine realize how tense he'd been. _She's probably right...I'm getting all worked up over nothing, am I really expecting some kind of evil scheme from Kofuku? She wouldn't hurt a fly…_

Thusly convinced, he still braced for certain doom along with his friends when a whirlwind of squealing pink hair catapulted out to meet them, throwing itself first at Yato, then at Hiyori and himself.

"Yatty! Hiyorin! Yukki! I missed you soooo much~!" Kofuku wailed, hugging Yukine close to her and proceeding to squeeze the air out of his lungs. Glancing over, he glimpsed Hiyori likewise caught in her adoring, if unforgiving clutches. Yato, it seemed, had wiggled free - though not without some suffocation of his own - and was now hovering indecisively behind Kofuku, as if contemplating whether or not to ask her to let go of his friend and regalia.

"I've missed you too Miss Kofuku," Hiyori wheezed, "But it'd be nice to be able to breathe."

Yukine would have added something to the same effect, but with his face currently molded to Kofuku's bosom, he doubted if he could speak at all, or if he dared to.

"Exuberant as always, my lady," Daikoku commented staidly, striding over to them, "Though I'd advise you to loosen your grip on your friends, if you don't want their necks broken."

"Oops!" Kofuku sang, releasing the pressure and hopping back a step, "Sorry Hiyorin, Yukki!"

Panting for much-needed air, Yukine hoped ducking his head away would hide how red his cheeks must have gotten, and when he chanced a sidelong glance, he was relieved to see Hiyori was equally flushed.

"Why have you invited us here, Kofuku-chan?" Yato was the first to ask, putting on what Yukine supposed could pass for a charming smile, if he were to tilt his head and squint really hard.

He might have imagined it, but he thought he saw Daikoku and Kofuku exchange a conspiratorial look, and then Kofuku positively beamed, radiating childish glee.

"It's a secret, Yatty, shhh~!" she giggled, tugging Yato by the sleeve and pressing a finger to her lips.

"Come inside," Daikoku offered - or rather...commanded - with his usual stony indifference, lighting the cigarette between his teeth casually and turning to walk back into the shop, Kofuku trailing behind, dragging Yato in her wake.

"...You were right to be suspicious, Yukine-kun," Hiyori whispered when they were out of earshot, "They're up to something."

Yukine couldn't have explained it for the life of him, but he glowed with her affirmation that he had been right, and he was hard-put to keep from grinning like a fool as he followed her inside.

His trepidation returned in full when he entered the shop. It seemed to be deserted, and silence reigned; there was an odd smell in the room too, like incense, or lavender. The lonely kotatsu table was set for two, with a sprig of early plum blossoms in a vase and - were those candles?

"Huh...what's the big idea, do you think?" he asked, to no one in particular, removing his shoes and crossing the threshold gingerly, as if the floorboards would leap up and bite his ankles.

"They're still here, in the shop," Hiyori murmured, lifting her nose as if following a scent, "Just hiding out of sight…"

"So what, they ditched us? Some kind of practical joke?" Yukine scowled, tentatively sitting down at the table and crossing his legs. _Any second they're gonna pop out and yell "April Fools!" or something...it's not even April._

Hiyori seemed more hesitant to sit, still sniffing like a bloodhound on the trail, but eventually she joined him at the table, "You don't think they kidnapped Yato or something?"

"Psh, why would they do that?" Yukine grumbled, "I wouldn't worry about that idiot, he can take care of himself."

"Still...this is odd, it almost looks like…"

"Looks like what?" Yukine asked distractedly, lifting the lid from a bowl of noodles that smelled absolutely heavenly. _Daikoku's cooking, for sure._

"N-nothing, it's too ridiculous!" Hiyori stammered, waving whatever idea had crossed her mind away frantically.

Setting down the lid in his hand, Yukine leaned forward to try to read her expression, and almost ran into the plum blossoms at the center of the table.

_It almost looks like...a romantic dinner._

At first he was ready to brush the idea aside like Hiyori had, but then it started to intrigue him. _What if…?_

On cue, the first quiet strains of a sweet, hopeful melody could be heard, from somewhere behind the wall. _Seriously, Daikoku? That's cheesy as hell…_

Before he could stop it, a bubble of hilarity welled up in his throat, and he was caught with a helpless attack of the giggles, shaking with the absurdity of it all and covering his mouth before he could erupt into full-on, probably embarrassingly loud laughter.

"Yukine-kun…? What -?" Hiyori began perplexedly.

"They set us up," he managed weakly, stifling another bout of mirth and feeling tears jump to his eyes, "This was supposed to be a _date_, can you believe…?"

"What? No, it couldn't possibly be. You're just reading too much into it, Yukine-kun."

Taking a deep breath to get control of himself, Yukine gestured at the table in front of them, "Look at this; table set for two, candlelight..._flowers?_ This is definitely a date. Man, I wonder how they subdued that jersey-wearing idiot...probably had to tie him up and gag him with his bandanna!"

"Yukine-kun, please...you're being ridiculous."

"Hiyori, they totally set us up on a blind date. I knew something weird was going on."

"But why would they do that?" Hiyori asked, running her tail uncertainly through her fingers.

"I dunno," Yukine shrugged, "But hey, all this food's lying around, and it smells really good, we might as well dig in."

"You're not bothered?"

"Not anymore. If this was what all that secrecy was about," he paused to scoop noodles onto his plate, "It was all just a dumb prank."

"A prank? I don't think so," Hiyori said hesitantly, toying with her chopsticks, "Miss Kofuku doesn't prank…"

Yukine blinked with a mouth half-full of noodles, and then gave an enormous swallow, "Then...she was serious? She thought we should…?" He lowered his head quickly, but ruefully acknowledged that he was probably too late to hide the rush of color to his cheeks.

"I think so...I mean, she's used to manipulating people to get what she wants...and I _had_ mentioned to her that I'd never had a boyfriend before…"

Yukine felt the blush deepen, "So….then...what do we do?"

Hiyori's forehead crinkled with concentration, as she stared down at the table as if trying to burn a hole into it. Yukine watched her tail ticking back and forth with intense thought, wondering what was going through her mind.

"We should get back at them!" She finally announced, in a whisper-shout.

"G-get back at them?" Yukine echoed, startled.

"For setting us up. See how _they_ like being toyed with." Yukine wasn't sure he'd ever seen this particular gleam of mischief in Hiyori's eyes before...and he wasn't sure he liked it.

"...How?" he asked, his voice coming out louder and higher than he'd intended.

"Well here's what I'm thinking," Hiyori whispered, "They're trying to set us up on a date, right? What if we _pretended_ to date each other, make them think their scheme worked like a charm, and then after a month or so we have this terrible, horrible 'breakup' and make them feel guilty for setting us up in the first place!"

Yukine was silent for a long moment, and only the plop of the clump of noodles he'd held aloft between his chopsticks dropping to his plate brought him back to reality.

_Bad idea, _bad_ idea_, a voice in the back of his mind warned immediately, _Very bad idea, don't go along with this…_

"So? Am I an evil genius or what?" Hiyori hummed, swishing her tail and beaming gleefully.

_She...looks so happy...I can't wuss out and disappoint her..._

"Y-yeah, yeah, that's a great idea," he agreed hastily, setting his chopsticks down, "Really brilliant, uh…"

"I knew you'd be on board," she grinned, triumphantly grabbing a red bean bun and biting into it, "They'll never see it coming."

"But Hiyori, what if -?" Yukine began uncertainly.

"Ah-ah," she chided, holding up a finger "Don't worry about a thing, I've got it covered, and we are totally going to sell this thing. We'll have them eating out of our hands, and then they'll think twice about messing with us."

"I….yeah," Yukine sighed, absently poking at his noodles, "That's what I was going to say."

TBC


End file.
